Strong affection to parents not enabling 30-year-olds to grow up
Scanning through The Guardian, I came across an article with a 30-year-old man telling a story about his overwhelming need of his parents’ help. He is sometimes frustrated not being given a hand by Mum and Dad. It’s interesting to note that very often sons have deep devotion to their mothers, whilst remaining half-hearted with their fathers.
In the UK, they have a different outlook on the parent-child relationship. Once children grow up, they flee from the parental nest rather early to start their adult life, while parents can start to relax and feel free.
We have a friend from the UK, whose brother still lives with their mother. The funny thing is that he never worked a single day in his life – UK social insurance enables such type of neediness.
It’s hard to say whether this can be cured. It might have existed in previous generations, but everyone got to know about it as the Internet appeared. Nevertheless, Psychologists say, children have to be given independence as early as possible to get accustomed to life and become self-sufficient.
I found it extremely interesting to follow the changes in the attitudes of my friends who have a 25-year-old son, still a student, constantly asking for money. At that very period his father, who always used to think that if we make children, we have to take care of them for the rest of our life, was explicitly irritated and kept saying that “this dumbass could start earning his own living”. I am honestly puzzled seeing such infantile 25-year-olds. This reminds me of a scene I once saw and never forgot. A young sparrow was leaping around its parent and drumming its wings, asking to be fed although it saw the crumbs on the floor perfectly well. The parent was taking the crumbs and sticking them into the beak of the child, which – I must confess – was just about the size of its parent. The same with humans: some ‘feed’ their children for the rest of their lives…